...shall renew their strength, ; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run , and not be weary ; and they shall walk , and not faint."-Isaiah 40:31 (KJV). God spoke to me through this verse at Bible Study this morning.
As most of you that read this (or know me) know, Andy and I have been struggling with infertility and trying to conceive for about a year and a half now. In recent months we have been debating our treatment options and trying to decide how far to go with treatments. Ever since I was told in January by the RE (Reproductive Encrinologist) our next step would be IVF (In-vitro fertilization), we have somewhat taken a 'break' other than some more natural treatment I've been trying (through an herbalist/acupuncturist and changing my diet). I've also found myself praying a lot more and asking God where he wants us to go with this treatment and what I should do next. Since God knows his plans for Andy and I, I feel that I need to lift this all up to him and let him make the decision on what steps to take. As easy as I make this sound, I've been struggling for months to do just that, but I'm finally starting to feel a little more peace and am trying to just let go.
Anyways...back to Bible study. So I am participating in the Beth Moore study of the book of Esther. Today was session five and the entire focus of Beth Moore's video section was in regards to 'timing.' She talked about the importance of knowing: when it's time, when it's time to WAIT, when it's time to wait for someone and when the meantime is GOD's time. Wow..what a message God had for me through Beth today! I realized that I've been trying to bring a child into this world in MY time, not God's time. He has a plan for me and my family and he will renew my strength through the struggles I am dealing with.
Beth also talked about the American culture and the way it trains us to be impatient. With all the technology and advancements we have, we don't want to wait for anything, but God hasn't intended for us to live our lives this way. We aren't on this earth to float through easily and get what WE want whenever we want it; we are here to fulfill a specific plan that God has in store for us. And sometimes this means we are meant to WAIT for something to happen. Beth made a very good point: if we cannot wait upon the Lord, we will not fulfill our destiny/greatest purpose.
I just want to praise God for bringing me this message today and reminding me that He is in control of my destiny. I hope that this puts my mind at ease and helps me through my struggles with infertility. Beth closed her lesson today with a message I will now leave you with: "Don't wait upon the EVENT, wait upon the LORD, the longer we wait, the more we renew our strength." So, here's to me renewing my strength and waiting upon the LORD for my time to start a family.
